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Which character in "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" said...

So you think you are a fan of "National Lampoon's Van Wilder." Let's see how well you know it. Match the following lines with the characters that spoke them. Can you get them all right?

  1. Richard, you rascal, you never told me you were a DIK! [under breath] Not that you had to.

  2. Tit! Oh mummy. Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred, but, I hear milk and I think big giant jugs. I can not go back home a virgin. I came here to this country to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.

  3. I see a rabbi. And he's performing a circumcision...on himself though.

  4. Sharing a half-calf latte and a penalty box with Gwen Pearson who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.

  5. You do not call her that, Gonad!

  6. You must be Pre-Med Dick.

  7. Hey, look. That old bag is stronger than she looks.

  8. Well, it is the NAKED mile run; everyone else will be in their birthday suits. Except for that guy...

  9. This is the Great White Barry.

  10. I didn't realize that I was nothing more to you than some flacid story.

  11. Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.

  12. I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla oblongata's.