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Which character in "Mallrats" said...

So you think you are a fan of "Mallrats." Let's see how well you know it. Match the following lines with the characters that spoke them. Can you get them all right?

  1. [speaking of T.S. and Brandi's love] You two are retarded for each other.

  2. Fly fatass, fly!

  3. Adventure, excitement--a Jedi craves not these things.

  4. Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!

  5. You want me to rub it?

  6. I think you need to get your friend some help. He seems to be obsessed with super hero sex organs. But he'll outgrow it.

  7. [about the break-up letter from Rene] Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.

  8. That guy's faster than Walt Flanigan's Dog!

  9. [Shows a Hustler spread to Silent Bob] Dude, this one looks like your mom. [Silent Bob nods]

  10. One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later at the mall and he was buying another cat! And I said to him, "Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass, too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

  11. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.

  12. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty, but damn, are they exquisite.