You as crazy as your mama. Goes to show it's in the genes. Do you know what you're getting into? The government will jump all over your head and go cock-a-doodle-doo.
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
[serving gigantic pancakes to Miles for his birthday] You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door!
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
[struggling to open the washing machine] Do I have to talk dirty to you? Come on! Open up for daddy! I'm gonna shove a load into you! Here we go! Come on, it's nice and easy. Aaah! Come on, here we go! Ah! Take that! Take that! Come on! You don't want the crowbar, do you? Come on! OPEN UP! UUGGHH! I'm gonna shove my load into you whether you like it or not!
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
[On the way to his brother's] Oh boy, those kids. I haven't seen those kids in a while. Tia's gotta be nine. Nine, maybe ten. Oh boy. And the two new ones. They're uh... Larry and... uh... Larry and, uh... Uh... Betsy. Betsy, uh... Jennifer. Jennifer. Larry and Jennifer. Oh boy.
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Excuse me, stewardess, is there a movie on this flight?
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
If I answer that question you keep asking. If I give you the name of the big enchilada, then it's bon voyage, Deano. Like a bullet in my head, you dig? You're a mouse fighting a gorilla. Kennedy's as dead as that crab meat, the government's alive and breathing.
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
My doctor says I've been swallowing a lot of aggression, along with a lot of pizzas.
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Well, my name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. I dont know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
[to Maizy's principal] I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
[Sergeant Hulka is on the ground after getting blown off of a tower] Sergeant, does this mean we're through for the day?
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld in "National Lampoon's Vacation"
Buck Russell in "Uncle Buck"
Burton Mercer in "The Blues Brothers"
Dean Andrews in "JFK"
Dewey Oxburger in "Stripes"